HOW TO GAIN CONFIDENCE
Today, I want to teach you some tools on how to gain confidence. Many people lack confidence and it shows up in a number of different areas. It can get in the way of business. It can get in the way of relationships. It can get in the way of having fun. It can get in the way of just living your life. But it can also be really costing you. Many business people have a lack of confidence which means that they overcompensate in some areas, but really hold back in others. This can stop you from achieving the success that you want, the success that you need and the success that you deserve. So let us look at some tools for really gaining confidence.
WHAT DO YOU FEAR?
The first question to ask yourself is what are you afraid of? What is it that you think might happen? I can speak for myself. I certainly know that over the years I would show up at meetings, maybe back when I was acting and focusing on that, I would meet a director and I would kind of crumble, thinking I have to impress him. I have to be this or that and the fear would get in the way. So rather than just being your natural self it is possible to stand up and allow your fear to show up instead of you just showing up! it is like who is driving the boat? You, the adult, this clear-thinking adult or some kind of inner child or is it some kind of other thought? What is it that you are specifically afraid of?
BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF
If you can be really, really on the mark with this and try to be as honest as possible, write it down, meditate on it, just try and process what is that key fear. For myself over the years, it was definitely a fear of rejection. It came from the childhood stuff. I mean no one wants to hear about it. Who is interested in it? But it is useful to know what it was. I think back to when I was a kid, not being popular, wanting to be liked, wanting other kids to play with and to hang out with. So it is this old pang, this old limiting belief that can really show up and hold us back.
So what is your fear and how is it holding you back? Be really clear on that because this is going to teach you and get you back on the path to really trying to gain maximum confidence.
WHAT IS HOLDING YOU BACK?
Number two, what is your limiting belief? This can often come from an early influence. It may come from a teacher. Most likely it can come from a parent because obviously our parents are the biggest influences. What is the belief that is holding you back? Now it could be something like I have to be polite or I have to be straight with people or I have to be liked. Being liked is a big thing again. This is one of mine or was one of mine until I really got present to it and cleared it out. So it was all about showing up. Rather than being confident or actually getting the message across it was “Oh, are they going to like me? Are they going to accept me? Are they going to take me in or are they going to reject me?”
WHERE DID IT COME FROM?
Really try and find out this limiting belief on being liked. I know I got this from my mother; I love my mother very much. it is a good tool and it can really help us in certain parts of life. But actually it can then get it the way. Take this one, being liked. Well when is it good to be liked? Coming into a social scenario, it is good to be likeable but when you make it all about this belief, think about how that can show up in business. You might turn up to a meeting and rather than actually connecting with the other person, you are trying to get them to validate you and it all becomes about acting out some elaborate validation exercise. That will really get in the way of being completely confident.
WHAT IS YOUR MESSAGE?
So number one, what are you afraid of? Number two, what is your limiting belief? Number three, what is your message? Or who are you? Why are you here? Why are you meeting this person? What is it all about? Really just try and get your message or mission clear?
Let us say you’re out on a date. You are there to meet the other person to see if they are going to be a suitable life partner or a one-night partner or whatever it is you are going for. That is entirely your business. If you are showing up for a business meeting you are there to find out if you can do business with the other person? Do you want to hire the other person or are they going to be a good potential client, to whom you want to offer your services? Be really clear about your message. When you can stop acting from these limiting beliefs and fears, confidence naturally happens.
YOUR INNER CONFIDENCE
You see the confidence you need is already inside. This is the big secret. There is no secret. There is no technique. Think back to when you were five years old. You would just say you want an ice cream from your parents. You were like, “Mummy and Daddy, I want an ice cream. Give it to me now. Please, can I have it?” You have the confidence. You tell it to the other kids. “Hey, do you want to play with me?” Or you say actually, “I don’t like playing with you.”
So we learn these limiting beliefs. They serve us in some areas, but then they stop serving us yet we still keep them! When you can clear out the fear and the limiting belief, be really clear about who you are and what your message is, you will find you have all of the confidence you need. So go and use that confidence today. Go and shine now and write below what the results are. I would love to hear more.
If you would like to sign up for my free video training which is called Abundance Now, it is going to take you from ideas of scarcity to complete abundance, showing you how you can get wealth, how you can get more clients, how you can get more income in your business and more happiness ,you will find this and other incredible training materials and resources for you on my website, http://MarcusJFreed.com.
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